


Fear Melts into Anger

by aislingdoheanta



Series: Intimate Conversations [7]
Category: Spartacus Series (TV), Spartacus: War of the Damned
Genre: Canon Era Fic, Episode 3.05, Episode: Blood Brothers, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-24
Updated: 2013-04-24
Packaged: 2017-12-09 08:55:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/772370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aislingdoheanta/pseuds/aislingdoheanta
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Agron curled his lip. “I have neither time nor desire. Perhaps Castus is less taken,” he spat out. He turned and walked out without another word.  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>He tried to keep his attentions on Spartacus and the tasks that he had been sent upon, but he could not because Nasir had taken hold of his mind. Much as he had with his life, with his heart. </i>
</p><p>Agron's fear at losing Nasir has turned to anger because it's his last remaining defense system in place for his heart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fear Melts into Anger

**Author's Note:**

> Scenes from Agron's POV in "Blood Brothers" in an attempt to show what he was thinking and feeling during those conversations with Nasir.

Agron's heart stopped when he saw Nasir rushing in with Castus, the fucking Cilician. It stopped beating for a moment until it moved as if seizing within his chest. 

The fear and desperation and _anger_ rushed through him, clutched him at the throat. _Why_ had they been together? 

“Keep watch over the Cilicians. You seem to favor their fucking company,” he spat as Nasir before following Spartacus out into the night. 

Agron saw the confusion, the _hurt_ upon Nasir's face as he pulled away from him. Agron would not let it plague his thoughts for the rest of the night. There was much work to be done. 

Though, it was all he had been able to think about as he stayed at Spartacus' side. The way the Cilician had jutted his face toward him as if in challenge. The closeness between the two of them as they rushed in together. The look upon Nasir's face as he left. The sadness in his dark eyes. 

It was at the front of his mind as he silently helped move the bodies out of view. Nasir's look lingered in his mind as he cleaned blood from his skin, away from prying eyes and lover's touch. The thoughts of what might have transpired between them haunted him as he stood with Spartacus and worked through the night. 

It destroyed him to think that he might be losing Nasir, the only good thing he truly had. The only thing that made him love and live and _feel_ again. He didn't think he would be able to bear it. 

Agron tried to push it from his mind as he followed Spartacus to where the bodies were being kept. He hadn't anticipated Nasir helping Donar as well, but Agron kept his eyes away from the ones of his lover. 

“Agron, I would share a moment,” Nasir called out. 

Agron halted his steps because it was _Nasir_ and he couldn't just walk away without saying anything. He had to ask, had to know, what had transpired between them the other night. But when he looked up and saw Nasir looking at him with his beautiful, dark eyes saddened and downcast, his anger returned. 

How dare he act as though _he_ was the one who had been injured. Agron had been working with Spartacus when Nasir had walked in with the fucking Cilician—after he had _told_ Nasir how he did not like the way the man gazed at Nasir. It was Nasir who had betrayed Agron. 

Agron curled his lip. “I have neither time nor desire. Perhaps Castus is less taken,” he spat out. He turned and walked out without another word. 

He tried to keep his attentions on Spartacus and the tasks that he had been sent upon, but he could not because Nasir had taken hold of his mind. Much as he had with his life, with his heart. 

What was he to do if Nasir decided he was done with him? How was he to live without his heart? 

Agron sighed and looked around at those training in the square. His eyes fell upon Crixus who was glaring intently at Spartacus. It wouldn't be anything to note had it not been for the massacre that happened the night before. He feared Crixus was plotting something more. 

“I do not care for the way his eyes frame upon you,” Agron said at length. 

Spartacus nearly chuckled. “A gaze I grew familiar with when we were yet slaves to Batiatus.”

Agron shook his head. “I fear return to days of old.” He continued watching Crixus as said, “There are many who believe Crixus holds higher ground, with the slaughtering of the prisoners.”

Spartacus turned to him, “And where do you stand, in such regard?”

Agron knew that he was with Spartacus and always would be, yet he felt an understanding with Crixus regarding his actions of the previous night. He turned to Spartacus and smiled. “With you. And always shall upon field of battle.”

Spartacus grasped his arm before turning his attention back to the fight beneath them. “Return to villa. I would have you guard Laeta.”

Agron sighed. “Is it wise leaving city walls with so much unsettled within them? Should you not attempt words and the healing of festering wound?” Agron thought back on Nasir and the quarrel currently between them. He knew that he had to speak with him, he had to explain and allow him chance to explain as well. Yet he was afraid of what the outcome would be. 

“I'm done with words,” Spartacus said suddenly before walking away. 

Spartacus had startled Agron out of his thoughts. Yet his words held true. 

Agron had _tried_ to talk with Nasir, days ago when the Cilician first made attempt on Nasir. He had felt foolish and vulnerable as he attempted to explain to Nasir how terrified he was of losing him. 

It was fear that fueled his anger in this situation because if his anger forced Nasir away, that was what he could place blame upon. Then it would not mean that _Agron_ wasn't worth it for it was his anger that drove him away. If someone else, someone _better_ came along, Nasir would see that Agron was not worth his love and attention. 

Agron was not a fool. He knew that if he was measured next to Spartacus or Oenomaus or even fucking Crixus, he wouldn't even come close to the other men. While Agron knew this, he didn't wish for Nasir to see it because he was weak and did not wish to live without the man. 

That was why Agron would not attempt words with Nasir. He did not wish to hear that Nasir had finally opened his eyes and realized that he deserved more, deserved better than Agron. 

*************************************************************

He listened with half an ear as the man relayed news of the happens in the villa, but his eyes remained on Nasir. The Syrian was now sitting amongst the Romans with a kind smile and gentle touch in an attempt to calm them. 

Agron wanted to quickly get to the docks to help Spartacus back into the city and tell him of what has happened. 

“Agron,” Nasir's quiet voice said as the man stood. “Pause a moment.” 

Agron glanced back at him. “Spartacus is due upon docks. I would greet his return.” He turned to leave again but felt Nasir's hand pull at his arm and halt his progress. 

“And I would have much needed words,” Nasir said as he searched Agron's eyes, his face for something. 

“I yet have none to break!” Agron returned and stormed away. He needed Nasir to leave, to not broach _this_ subject now because there was work to be done. And Agron had no words, no way to express to Nasir his thoughts. At least no way that he hadn't already attempted.

Nasir was not to be deterred this time. “Is it a common trait among men east of the Rhine to run from a fight?”

Agron paused. “No.” He turned and walked back to Nasir. “Yet I have learned it one of a Syrian to shit lies from mouth and deem them sweetest nectar.” He blocked out the way Nasir's face fell at his words. 

“I have not broken trust with you,” he said, his words quiet and full of passion. 

“You were with Castus,” Agron accused. “After I commanded you remain absent his company.” He knew it was not a welcome thing to say, but it was his only hope that Nasir would no longer wish to press the subject at this moment. 

“Com _mand_ ed?” Nasir refused to stop pressing forward. “The collar that once bound my neck is but distant memory. Do not think I will slip it round again for _you_ ,” he nearly shouted. 

Agron turned back and paced to him. “Do not raise fucking hackle,” he hissed. The last thing he wanted was for many others to hear of this quarrel between them. “If I had been discovered with the Cilician after promises made to you, _you_ would be of equal passion,” he insisted. 

Nasir again followed after Agron and it was a reminder of the defiant young slave boy that had first caught Agron's attention. “I came upon Castus in the street while Crixus and the others were seized with madness. We broke for you and Spartacus absent time for even words to pass between us.”

His words gave Agron pause, though he wished it not so. He wanted to be able to just walk away and have this of no concern at the moment. But he was not able to see Nasir's face fall for another time that day. 

“And I am to believe,” Agron started, his voice quiet. “Of all within the city, he miraculously appears by your side?” His lips curved upward in a slight sneer as he attempted to keep his voice hard.

Nasir held his gaze. “As I would believe you,” he said just as softly. “In all things.”

Agron felt himself undone by those few words. He wanted to weep for sorrow and joy and beg forgiveness. He wanted to pull Nasir into his arms and refuse to let go. He wanted to kiss him until they are both breathless and show everyone that this beautiful warrior _chose_ him for reasons Agron had yet to understand. 

He wanted to whisper to Nasir in the quiet of night all his thoughts and fears of the past few days. He wanted Nasir to hold him close and reassure him with words, touches, and kisses. He wanted to reaffirm their love and the strength it carries to both of them, to prove that it would not falter to the _failed_ attempts of a Cilician to come between him. 

Yet Agron could do none of those things, for Donar arrived, calling his attentions to the angry company at the gate. Even though they had not spoken more, Agron had not apologized, it was a welcome relief to feel Nasir at his side through the entire attempt of Crixus and others to attack the Romans cock-first without thought.

**Author's Note:**

> I figured I might as well post it since I had it finished...I think it will be okay, especially since "Trust Lies..." is the direct sequel and they become all happy (ish) again! :)
> 
> You all are the best! I love you all to bits!
> 
> Feel free to keep prompting. Also, I wasn't going to mention any of the prompts I received to keep them secret, but the anon who prompted Crixus/Naevia is an anon after my own heat! :)


End file.
